Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
