Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize