dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
