i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
