You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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