Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
