No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just had sex on a roof
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
