I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
