sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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