So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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