im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
