That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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