And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
