If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
