I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
