didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize