you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
