Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
please don't ironically join a cult
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