i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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