Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
