just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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