Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
