Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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