I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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