Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
