I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
