My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
