there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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