Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
