toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
