Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
