i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you had me at cake vodka
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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