Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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