It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize