Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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