I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
