I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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