I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
