Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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