the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
