So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
