so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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