If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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