Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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