How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
