that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
