All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
