I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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