apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize