I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
