hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
