FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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