Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
