are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
