I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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