Well apparently he's into motor boating.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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