I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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