I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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