I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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