We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
