i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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