he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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