Whatcha textin bout Willis?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize